HOW-TO: How to Use Antipantsology To Tell If Somebody Is Cool Or Is a Loser
Let's take a look:
The following people are "cool":
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Now, the following people are "Losers":
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Ok, now, can you tell WHY the first group of people are "cool" and the second group are "losers?"
If you said because the losers are wearing pants, you're wrong. It's that they are PROUD that the are wearing pants.
Let's face it. At some point, we're all going to be forced into attending events during which pants are mandatory, like formal wrestling matches, Nazi war marches or public fruit tossings. In those cases, you suck it up and wear pants, with shame, for the duration of the event. But as soon as that tuxedo-clad Native American gentleman pins his uniformed opponent, or the last tomato has been hurled viciously at its target, those pants come off. The way you can tell a "loser" is if even after the Fuhrer has goose-stepped his way past him, he remains firmly en-pantsed. He may even turn to his neighbor and say things like "Hey, neighbor, what do you think of my new pants?"
Kids, if you ever want somebody to offer you cigarettes or booze, avoid losers. They are proud of wearing pants, and they are not your friends.
